I often wonder who the kids are in these situations. In my experience I have found many mothers appallingly childish in how they conduct themselves.

Those dance parents are well aware of your daughter being marginalized, but they have to be part of the clique, they dare not risk pointing out the unfairness of it all, and they certainly do not want to be ousted.

Same applies to their providing alcohol. It;s what the clique does. It's expected.

In time some of them may look back with shame, but I cannot say for sure. Not that it matters. Your girl will have risen above the bully behaviour.

I like your approach Michele. Send your daughter and her friends off in style. Make it a night to remember. Treat them well, but keep in mind the children that they are.